While reading James Clear’s famous novel Atomic Habits, I came across this important point that struck a chord inside me and I wanted to share it with you all.
He quotes “Many people begin the process of changing their habits by focusing on what they want to achieve. This leads us to outcome-based habits. The alternative is to build identity-based habits. With this approach, we start by focusing on who we wish to become.”
We’re officially 2 weeks into the new year, and let’s be honest – most of us have probably already given up on our new year’s resolutions. While mostly everyone starts the new year with a fresh mindset and are motivated to make this year “their year,” it isn’t long before the motivation runs out, and we resort back to the bad habits of the previous year.
True behaviour change is identity change. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity. – Atomic Habits, James Clear
When creating goals, we all like to think about the result we want to get – eg. eating healthy and gaining a 6 pack. While this method of creating goals works in some instances, it doesn’t necessarily focus on what, or more correctly, who you want to become. People who strive to eat healthy and gain those abs may actually want to become a fit and healthy person. They’re more focused on the end result rather than the person they want to become.
However, the biggest barrier to positive change at any level – individual, team, society – is identity conflict. And this is the real reason why I wasn’t able to change in 2020.
Around August of 2020, I went through an identity crisis. Something that usually happens to people in their 30’s or 40’s, happened to me when I was only 14 years old. The thing about an identity crisis is that you completely lose yourself and question everything that seemed “normal” before. My morals, values, and even the people and things that made me happy are just a few things that I lost complete sense of.
I remember being so willing and open to change back then, because I didn’t want to be in that terrible chapter of my life any longer. But it wasn’t that easy. When you don’t know who you are anymore, it’s difficult to imagine transforming into a better version of yourself. Looking back now, I realise that even though I wanted to change, my mindset alone was not enough to push myself to change. Yes, mindset is definitely a game changer, but so is the process of healing and reconnecting with yourself.
The journey of transformation and becoming the best version of yourself doesn’t happen overnight. It takes years of discipline and consistency to become the person you want to be, and even then, becoming the best version of yourself requires you to continuously edit your beliefs, and to upgrade and expand your identity. Progress involves both learning and unlearning.
Habits shape our identity, and vice versa. When our behaviour and our identity are fully aligned, we are no longer pursuing behaviour change. We are simply acting like the type of person we already believe ourselves to be. And this is why habits aren’t just reliant on what we want to gain, but the person we want to become.