Tomorrow is the first day of Term 4, aka my last first day of being a junior! I’m not going to lie, I am VERY anxious for this term, mostly because I’ve already got 6 assessments due in the next four weeks. I don’t know what’s wrong with my school, but they just like to torture us by giving us a “break”, but then give us all our assessment notifications in the final week before. Anyway…
Going back to school always makes me feel very anxious, because a part of me thinks that everything and everyone has “drastically changed” over the holidays, and for some reason that really scares me. I feel a little out of it right now, probably because I haven’t really thought about waking up tomorrow at 5am for band. Despite that, I also feel quite anxious because I have my first math final paper this upcoming Friday, which I have not properly studied for, which is very concerning since I failed my last two assessments. I know I should be studying a lot more, but I feel so all over the place just because I’m bouncing between all my assessments.
Looking past week 4, I’m excited to see what this term holds for me. Actually no, that’s a lie – I haven’t even thought about it, because I can only think about how much I have to get through first T-T. I am looking forward to the end of term though, because of events like Christmas on the Cola, my premier concert at the end of the month, and even going to ice skating this term for school sport.
My main motto for this month is “determination, resilience, and hard work.” This year has been very stuff school wise, and I feel like I haven’t done (or reached my peak) at all, and this makes me feel quite disappointed and sad in myself. I’ve been trying to tell myself that I am good enough and that I’ve put my all into what I’ve done, but honestly, I feel like I’ve just been so quick to try and move on from things without taking the extra time to actually learn from my experiences. The best way I can try to describe it is by saying that I just want to skip to the good part. I’ve been faced with so many challenges and hardships this year, and while they have challenged me, I haven’t learnt as much as I would like to.
This month, I want to give it my all. I know things are going to be extremely stressful for me in the next couple of weeks, and I know it’s not going to be easy for me to do everything to the standard I want. But I’m going to push myself to do the things that I need to do, the things that scare me, and most of all, the things that will help me grow. I know that I’m going to procrastinate at times, cry during the others, and then rant about how shitty my life is at 10pm. But I want to stay focused on myself and on my journey, rather than everything else in my life. I want to stop caring about how well everyone else is doing, and just focus on myself.
If you actually just read all of my ranting – thank you. For those who are going to skip to the next part, that’s fine too lmao!
My Goals For This Term:
- Key qualities for this term: Determination, Resilience and Hardworking
- Survive my assessments
- Push myself to do the best I can
- Stick with it, even if it’s hard
- ASK FOR HELP AND FEEDBACK IF I NEED IT (WHICH I WILL)
- Stop caring about everyone else’s results and just focus on my own
- Talk to more people
- Don’t be afraid to strike a conversation with someone new
- Spend time with people who ME happy and vice versa
- Practice my saxophone for 25 minutes a day
- Learn something new
- Turn it into a habit!!
- Me time
- Listen to music at school
- Play handball
- Read books!
- Journal