It’s already nearly the end of September, and I can’t believe that 9 months have already passed. It’s crazy to think that next year I’m going to be a Year 10 student?!
It still feels like I’m a Year 7 student, back in the old days of 2019. I never would’ve thought I would become the person I am today, face the hardships that I did, and even just find an amazing, stable group of friends. I’m so thankful for the memories and experiences that I have, and even though I often look back and regret my past, I’ve slowly started to accept my mistakes and learn and grow from them, instead of letting them control my life.
Something I really struggle with is accepting myself and my mistakes. We often imagine ourselves as “perfect” human beings, with not a flaw in sight, but the moment we make mistakes, we either blame ourselves or try and blame others. I think that’s one of our worst flaws. We all have a fixed mindset about ourselves (up to a certain extent that is), and we don’t always treat ourselves the way we would treat our best friend. It’s hard to change your thinking and your ways, but I’ve realised that your life can improve so much with just a different mindset.
Looking back on these past 3 years of high school, I’ve noticed that each year has been very very different.
Year 7 was the “adjustment period,” where I was slowly adjusting to the new environment of high school. It was the year I began to spend time with new people and make friends.
Year 8 was probably the hardest year I’ve had, because I faced and experienced things I never thought I would. This included: Covid and lockdown, rejection, an identity crisis, and depression. However, this was also the year I began to talk to a wider group of people, and build my relationships with others. While I wasn’t the most open or real with people, it was the first time I was happy with the people who were around me.
This year, Year 9, I’ve began to truly change. I’ve started being more honest with myself and others, and I’ve grown closer to new people. At the start of the year, I really struggled with motivation, music and school, and this was reflected back onto my assessment marks, and my performance both inside and outside of school. I would always compare myself to people, because I knew I could do better, but there was no way to “redo” the assessment. Even though a part of me is sad about being in lockdown again, I’m also really glad. I’ve used this time to take time solely for myself, and heal myself. I’ve been reading and listening to music, which are some of my hobbies that I fell out of at the start of the year.
I’m scared for what the future holds for me, but honestly? I’m happy where I am right now, and I’m proud of myself for coming this far. I know that there will be challenges in the future, but so many good things will happen to me as well.
I’m actually excited for the future. And that’s something I never thought I would say.