As I continue to grow older, I constantly find myself being more susceptible to peer pressure, change, and seeking other people’s validation of myself.
I believe this is something that everyone goes through, and I struggle to change this habit of mine.
Throughout my 3 years of high school so far, my opinions about myself have changed dramatically. They’ve become so twisted and tangled, and personally, I think this is because of my experiences with people in the past.
The need to seek validation from others about yourself is stressful. It means that other people’s views and opinions about you are stronger than your own views and beliefs. This power that you have – the power of self-belief and self-confidence – is being given away to other people.
The question is why?
Why are we relying on other people’s opinions of us to control how we think about ourselves? Why is it that my self-confidence is broken down because of what other people think? Why are we seeking validation from other people?
This past year, I’ve seen parts of myself that I don’t want to see again. There have been hardships and challenges that have broken me down and caused me to rethink who I was as a person.
And it all started because of someone’s opinion of me.
Recently, the thought of needing a male figure in my life has been bugging me. I know that I’m fully capable of living a happy life without a guy in my life, but I’ve been having thoughts that I “need” to have a significant male figure.
I think the real problem at heart, isn’t the idea that someone has to like me back, but the fact that I have very low self-confidence. I feed off people’s comments and I build myself off what other people say about me. Yes, this can build my self-confidence, but it can also break it down.
I’ve constantly lived in worry about what others think of me, when I’ve just been casting aside the only opinion that really matters – my own.
I want people to like, value and accept me for who I am, and I don’t want to bring myself down because of people who don’t value and accept me.
But for people to accept me and value me for who I am, I first need to accept myself and value myself.
Validation begins from ourselves. If we want other people to like, accept and value us, we should first do these things to ourselves. Showing ourselves the respect we deserve, allows us to continue being confident and strong even when we are faced with challenges.