Dear future lian sequeira, 31st of December, 2021
The future is an interesting place. It’s a place where the unknown occurs, where the world keeps running around and around. It’s a place where you are still living, thriving, flourishing – bigger and brighter than ever. Looking back on this year, 2021, you have pushed yourself so much to achieve the things you want and to overcome your fears of the past and the future. You have grown so much as an individual and as a part of a community, and you’ve learnt so much about yourself, and the people and the world around you.
They say that you must want to be different before you can change yourself. At the start of the year, I wanted to change. I wanted to grow and transform into the person I wanted to become and was capable of becoming if I only pushed and focused on myself.
Even though I had this mindset, I wasn’t sure how to start changing. I mean, you can’t exactly snap your fingers and change yourself into the person you want to be, and drop all your worries, bad habits, and the negativity in your life. The first 6 months of the year was hard; I didn’t know how to begin, I didn’t know how to cope, I didn’t know. I felt so weak and vulnerable, and even though I knew I shouldn’t and couldn’t bottle up my feelings and the things that I was going through, I desperately wanted to because I didn’t know how else to cope.
There was this one moment (or well, one breakdown) that I specifically remember from the start of the year, and my parents had just pushed and pushed, until I couldn’t hold myself together and broke down right in front of them. It was, and still is, so hard to talk to them about how I’m really feeling sometimes, but the next day, I texted my friend and asked her if she could come to the counsellor’s office with me. There was no thinking over my decision, I didn’t want to overthink my decision – so I went, and I confessed all the feelings I had hid from even the counsellor just a year ago. That was the first decision that I had made myself that I didn’t tell anyone about, and I just did it. I realised after that session how much trauma I had actually gone through as a kid, and that this actually played a big part in all my fears, and all the struggles that I’ve gone through previously.
There have been ups and downs in different aspects of my life, but every moment has either given a beautiful memory or has taught me a valuable lesson.
school
The first 2 terms of school were really rocky for me. I felt like I wasn’t achieving the results that I wanted, and I kept comparing myself to my friends, which made me feel worse about myself. Because of this, I kept pushing myself more and more to try and be better, even though I was already giving it my all. Although I had good interests in mind, I kept overworking myself and consequently burning myself out. I didn’t know how to balance my schedule and I didn’t give myself breaks when I needed them, which negatively affected my mental and physical health.
However, in Term 3, Covid-19 hit again, forcing us to go back to online learning for the entire term. While many lacked motivation with their school work, I used this hardship and turned into an opportunity for myself to turn my life back around. I began creating small habits, which eventually turned into a routine for me. I also started prioritising myself, and got back into the things that made me happy such as reading, which I had stopped earlier in the year because of my hectic schedule and my “lack of time.” Thanks to online learning, I learnt some important life lessons such as:
- how to actually prioritise myself
- how to balance my schedule
- the importance of time management
- and creating & achieving small goals
I was scared of going back to school in Term 4, because I didn’t want to fall back into the bad habits I previously had in the first semester. However, thanks to the habits I had built and all the positive reminders I got from my friends, I was able to balance my time and effort. My hard efforts to turn my life back around eventually led to some pretty amazing things, such as getting straight A’s on my report card, and receiving achievement & commitment awards for all of my classes!
health & fitness
One of my resolutions this year was to exercise daily, and I actually think I did a pretty good job of accomplishing this! I started to walk to and from school with friends, instead of catching the bus like I used to, as well as participating in PASS and PE practical lessons, which strengthened my relationships with my friends and my classmates. I also continued going to jujitsu training, and this became one of the highlights of my week, and I actually ended up getting my blue belt this year! During term 3, Ashita made Miju and I start doing youtube workouts with her every Wednesday, and it was actually so much fun! I continued doing these workouts and eventually started doing them every day, which improved both my physical and mental health.
Although I didn’t really have a goal in mind when I started working out, other than to feel good, exercising consistently has allowed me to work on myself a lot more, and has drastically increased my dopamine and serotonin levels.
hobbies & creativity
This year, I continued with many of my hobbies such as reading, writing, and listening to music. Like I said before, the first 6 months of the year were a bit rocky, and I didn’t do many things that brought me joy because I was so busy with school and my extra curricular activities.
However, I did join several new clubs this year, including the media team, the newsletter team (were I was appointed the chief editor of The Goss), and the ELF (elite leadership force) team. I also continued doing music at school as part of Concert Band 1, although this got cancelled after covid-19 hit again, and music theory lessons on Mondays at the conservatorium of music, symphonic wind ensemble rehearsals on Wednesdays, and 1-on-1 tutorials on Thursdays.
I also tried some new hobbies this year as well! I actually created my first ever blog this year, and I’ve been writing consistently everyday since January 2nd. I also started learning about different things such as psychology, finance, and investing with my Dad and two of my close family friends, and this has widened my knowledge.
Writing has always been a way that I’ve been able to express myself, and I continued writing poems this year as a coping mechanism when things got hard. I also have started planning a new novel with one of my best friends, Amelia, which I hope to start writing and complete by this time next year.
One thing I struggled with this year was finding motivation to practice my instrument. I kinda fell out of love with playing my saxophone early on in the year, and because I wasn’t able to balance my life back then, I stopped prioritising my instrument. Covid-19 didn’t help much either, as we were forced to do online lessons. I missed the feeling of rehearsing and performing in person with the band, and this made me lack motivation. This didn’t improve throughout the year either, and I felt really bad every time someone (such as my tutor or my family) commented on it.
friends & community
I became a lot closer to more people this year, including Miju, Amelia and Rionah. They became an important part of my support system, and some of the best friends I could ever ask for.
Miju was there for me through thick and thin, and we experienced so much together this year. From facetime calls to fashion challenges, Miju always gave me hugs and listened to my worries. There were both ups and downs in our relationship this year, but we always worked it out after a long talk. We supported each other, and bonded throughout the year, especially through music.
Amelia helped me with so much this year, and I’m so so grateful to have her in my life. We were in the same class this year, and she helped me during some of my toughest moments this year. She came with me when I went to the counsellor’s office in semester one, and gave me so many hugs when I was down. Amelia became of my biggest sources of happiness, always listened to me when I something I needed to get off my chest, sent me the funniest daily affirmations, and hyped me up whenever I wasn’t feeling like my best friend.
This year, I also became a lot closer to Rionah. Throughout the year, she always seemed to be such a bundle of joy, making me laugh and joining in on my dirty jokes. She always sent me the funniest tiktoks, and seemed to be the only person other than my grandma who read my blog and actually supported my works that I had poured my heart and soul into. We also bonded over our love over The Vampire Diaries, specifically Klaus and Damon, and I ended up telling her about my crush, which she immediately supported (and teased) me about.
I also got closer to a lot of the boys, such as Kevin, Jacob, Oscar and Habel, and they always seemed to make me laugh and smile when I was down. I’m truly grateful for Beckie for helping me in maths, Liana and Izzy for all our early morning philosophy sessions, and Asmi, for all our random 9pm face time calls and her amazingly long hugs.
9G
I was in 9G this year, and my class was completely different from 8F. I actually had a lot of friends in my class this year, which I was really grateful for, but everyone seemed to have their own “groups” and although we all got along pretty well, we just stuck to those groups and didn’t socialise much as a class. I felt like we all hadn’t really bonded as a class, and weren’t as close as my class the year before. I hoped that we would bond more throughout the year, which we did, however, I feel like we didn’t achieve our true potential.
personal life & family
Lastly, this year my family and I faced a lot of challenges. I saw my Dad cry for the first time, as both my grandparents caught covid in term 2. This was a really tough hardship for all of us, and we felt so weak being halfway across the world and not being able to do anything to help. We also lost Mary bai (a really close family friend who worked for my grandparents for a long time) this year to covid, and this affected my mum a lot.
Although there were many hardships, there were also many opportunities were we bonded together as a family. From bushwalking to walks on the beach and being stuck inside with my family for about 4 months, we all enjoyed each other’s company most of the time.
All in all, 2021 has been quite a year. There have been both ups and downs, but I’ve also made some amazing memories and learnt so many valuable lessons that I’ll never forget. I hope this upcoming year is filled with happiness and opportunities, and I’m so grateful for everything and everyone that has been in my life this year. 2021 is coming to an end, but the next chapter of my life is just beginning.
Sayonara 2021, Konnichi wa 2022!!