The white turns to grey
The grey turns to black
The black seems to spread
The colours dying inside
Why does my heart feel like this?
Jealousy seems to sprout inside
The colours swirling all around
The voices in my head scream
Guilt bears me down
A tear escapes from within
But I don’t say anything
Cause life doesn’t seem to be enough for me
Why do you leave me like this?
Why are the emotions so overbearing?
Why don’t you trust me?
Why don’t you believe in me?
What’s with all ‘what happened now’s’?
Am I that big of a problem to you?
I don’t want to be like this
And I try to lessen myself
Unburden myself to you
Vanish into the black and white
Unclear the thoughts in my head
Live my life as who I want to be seen as
But the whys weigh me down
The whys hurt me, stabbing me over and over
You don’t see, cause I don’t show you
Like a wall, between the white and back
The whys, the won’ts
The wills, the don’ts
I swear, it never seems to end
And it never goes away
I can’t show you who I am
Cause I’m still stuck, as who I am not
The emotions turn to dust
And the pain turns to fire
Burning it’s mark into my skin
Becoming who I am
And I don’t want to show you
Cause what’s the point?
Why do I have to be this way?
Why can’t I just be me?
Why does life seem to hate me?
Just like I hate myself
My heart constricts
The breathing slowly stops
The pain is with me forever
The light at the end of the tunnel seems to disappear
Please don’t chase after me
I don’t want you to come down my hole of darkness
Cause I don’t want you to endure this pain
You don’t deserve it