It’s hard being the eldest child in the family. It comes with a lot of responsibility, both to be a good individual and to be a good sister and daughter. It comes with a lot of expectations, to bring honour to the family and do well. It comes with a lot of pressure, to be a good role model for my brother, and to live up to my parents’ expectations.
But with all these negative connotations, being the eldest child also has its perks. It comes with having a sense of place in the family, being provided with many opportunities like going to a selective school and support, and my personal favourite: being the favourite child.
Ever since I was young, my parents have always been the biggest role models in my life. They’ve been the ones who have shaped me to become the person I am today. They’ve ingrained their values and beliefs into my own life, and have also taught me valuable lessons about the world around me and who I am as a person. Whether it be about the relationships I build, or my schooling, they’ve pushed me to take up every opportunity that comes my way, offered me support and help when things got tough, and loved me endlessly, no matter the circumstance.
As I grew up, I became more exposed to the “real world.” Like every teenager does, I started to become more independent, and do things without the help of my parents. In the past 4 years, I’ve faced many challenges, many of which I saw as the “end of the world” and others I didn’t even realise were challenges, until years later.
We can all agree that Covid-19 has been one of the biggest challenges we have faced as a community, ever since March of 2020. However, we also faced our own challenges during that time. Whether it be losing connections with our friends or family, or becoming bored of the same, mindless routine, it’s safe to say that the struggle was real.
During 2020, I faced one of the biggest challenges of my life – an identity crisis. Something that many adults don’t go through until their 30’s or 40’s, I went through when I was only 14 years old. After investing so much of my time and energy into a person who didn’t reciprocate the same feelings, I lost some sense of direction, some sense of purpose, and most of all, some sense of self.
It was through this hardship that I realised many things, including the fact that no matter how unclear my future was, the values and the beliefs my parents instilled in my life were part of the foundation I based myself upon.
From wisdom, to understanding, to counselling, the gifts of the holy spirit were passed down and taught to me by my parents. Since 2020, I’ve grown as both as an individual, a daughter, and as a follower of Christ. I’ve begun to learn how important, beautiful and powerful these gifts actually are, and also how to incorporate them into the life I want to live.
I’ve been able to learn from my past hardships, and turn them into opportunities and lessons to grow and improve myself as a person. As I become more and more closer to leaving high school, I’ve also become more aware of my calling to use these values to do the thing that I love the most – helping people.
My current goal for my future is to become a psychologist. I want to help other people become more in tune with themselves, to help them to find their own values that build up who they are, and figure out why people do the things that they do. I want to be able to use my gifts of counsel, wisdom, knowledge and understanding to become a person that is able to provide advice and support to others.
Most of all, I wanted to share my story with you all today. I may be only 16 years old, but I know that the hardships I have gone through have made me a better person, and have taught me valuable lessons, which I believe has given me the wisdom to learn and grow from them. People often say that wisdom comes with age, and while I do agree with that, I also believe that wisdom also comes from our experiences. It’s the lessons that we learn from our hardships that provide the so called wisdom we have.
I, like many others, started off with the values and beliefs that my parents taught me. I was taught that building connections was important, but I’ve also learnt that these connections aren’t always exterior ones. I was taught to do well in school and to take up the opportunities that came my way, but I’ve learnt that the marks that I get in school don’t define who I am as a person. I was taught to be a good role model and sister to my brother, but I realised that he still needs to go through these experiences first hand to actually understand them.
I was taught these values as a child and as a daughter, but I experienced them as an individual.